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How to Pick a Chinese Name and Avoid Tattoo Catastrophes

1) Fitting in vs. sticking out
For many expats fresh off the boat, thinking up a Chinese name is part of the settling-in process – a rite of passage, and a way to make yourself feel as if you belong. Many greenhorns go for a syllable-by-syllable transliteration of their name and surname, often leading to ridiculously long monikers (and, thus, unintentionally amusing business cards). No one in China has a given name of more than two syllables; that's not how they roll. Other new arrivals lay the fate of their nomenclature in the hands of those maverick street vendors who will write your name "in Chinese". Only tourists get this done. Anyone who has studied more than five minutes of Mandarin knows that it's baloney. Ai Li Ke does not "mean" Eric, just as Ai Li Sha Bai doesn't "mean" Elizabeth. If you insist on following semantics, it makes more sense to use the literal meaning of your name and translate that, i.e. Roy = king = wang (王).

The same goes for Westerners who decide to get Chinese tattoos. This rarely ends well. While the truth is that most tattoo artists aren't experts in hanzi (Chinese characters), and even if they copy from a book, things tend to go awry. As the excellent HanziSmatter (http://hanzismatter.blogspot.com/) points out, an imprecise or misplaced stroke can lead to the unfortunate client being branded with what ought to have been 美 (beautiful), but looks more like 羊 (sheep) defecating.

This point basically comes down to a culture clash of sorts. Rushing gung-ho into China brandishing your new Mandarin name belies the same misunderstanding and naïveté as a Beijing bank clerk calling himself after a cartoon character. While you may be in a rush to get business cards printed up, take time, and care, when choosing a Chinese name, and be sure to get plenty of expert help.

2) Being Understood vs. losing your identity
While most people in the bigger cities will be familiar with Western names, if you're out in the sticks, your new friends and colleagues might find your name difficult to pronounce (especially if it contains syllables to which the Chinese tongue is unaccustomed). Thus, Maximilian may find life easier as something like Ma Lian, and Rick may have a smoother ride as Li Ke. However, some people take umbrage to altering their identity like this. Jonathan, a Brit living in Shanghai, says "My name is Jonathan. It's not Jia Na Dan or Zhou Na Fen or any of the alternatives that have been foisted upon me to make life easier for other people. If I can learn how to say Xue, Qian and Zhuan, then my colleagues and friends ought to make the effort to learn my name too."

English teacher Claire feels the same: "I don't adopt a different name for each country I visit. I mean, I don't have a Malaysian name or a Dutch name, so why should I take a Chinese one? It's just as ridiculous as Chinese people calling themselves Sandwich and Shopping; it makes a mockery out of both parties".

3) Integrating vs. offending
It's all well and good to try and ingratiate yourself with your newly adopted homeland, but it pays to bear in mind that Chinese naming traditions are ancient, complex, and imbued with cultural importance.
Selecting a baby's name is a serious affair for a family, with the task often falling to elders. Randomly picking a couple of pretty characters for your new moniker might seem like fun, but locals might not see it that way. British Jonathan says "Just as I find it affronting to have to call my colleagues Princely and Milk, I'm sure locals would see it as jarring for me to labour under a pseudonym like Zhang Xiao Zhou. I'm not a member of the Zhang clan. I didn't have those characters picked out for me by a special grandparent or aunt. Having some elaborate Mandarin name doesn't magically make you more of an Old China Hand. In fact, it often makes you look like a prat."

So whether you've chosen a Chinese name, are in the process of selecting one, or have bitten the bullet and stuck to the one you were born with, it all comes down to the way you see the situation. In a way, you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Even if you and your acquaintances don't use it much, having a Chinese name can be seen as a sign of respect. Ask a friend or two to help you come up with a name, and then get a second and third opinion on it. Check to see if people laugh when you say your potential new moniker. Be aware that given the significance of Chinese names, and the amount of effort that goes into choosing a unique one for a child, your friend will find it difficult to just "give" you a name. If possible, try to get a Chinese name that is fairly easy to write. Beware as well of sounds that can easily be confused with other, less appropriate words. A little bit of tonal trouble, which might not occur to people who take correct tones for granted, can go a long way in transforming a beautiful Chinese name into a profanity. Lastly, if you're thinking of getting a tattoo of a Chinese character, do all the previously mentioned things twice, and be sure to pick a tattooist familiar with Chinese characters, or at least able to faithfully follow a proper design. You can change a name, but it's much more difficult to get rid of a tattoo intended to read "prosperity", but really means "spoon".

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